Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
