Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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