he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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