i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize