Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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