I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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