So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
