love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
