ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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