She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
