My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
