Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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