Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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