you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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