did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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