Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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