it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
