if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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