Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
