Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
