Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
