i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
