i just sent this text using only my big toe
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
