the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
