i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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