i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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