so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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