so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need a beard to bite.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
