I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
