I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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