His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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