Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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