is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
