I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
