I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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