You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
