It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
