he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
