You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
