May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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