Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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