I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
