That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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