Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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