Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
