i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
