I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
