so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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