I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
