Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
