i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
