guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
